I hit the "check mail" button a few minutes ago and I know things are grim when overnight, the only mail I get is from Witherspoon Aurora, Jacquelyn P ecker and Dvorah Dicksmay. These people are not my friends. Sometimes they start out their e-mail with some intriguing language (only to be followed with "wanna be bigger?):
acknowledged memories anyone? rivers instant
jerking injuries motherofpearl harsh merely
learn but stacks lately vices
store course heres go handrolled
resentfully scorn languor notch mastery
nearly proofs’ suffered blinked unclear
prolong frowning perversely managing contemplate
favourite keep borne secret? format
swooped civil comforting insults bedroom pricked smooth hesitation recall
discipleship journey eyebrows proportion stove
themselves foretaste perpetrated absolutes inimically
"Inimically" is a pretty good word, but these people are not my friends. Point in fact, here in cyberspace, Sitemeter tells us that friends drop away quickly. Like me, for example. Because unless your name starts with H or Lucinda, I haven’t been by. Clearly, I was just looking for a couple of laughs. Well, I might have come by and read your bit on watermelon patches but you would never know I was there.
It’s been a rough few weeks and here’s my dilemma. I was brought up, basically, to not complain. I know some folks like to share their grief and life messes here- it’s cathartic, usually interesting (I personally, could make a career out fo listening to other people’s troubles.) and often humorous. But I can’t do it. The general attitude conveyed in my childhood was if you can get up in the morning to go to the bathroom you’re well enough to go to school. Or work. Live your life. AND be grateful and happy about it. I actually endorse this attitude, by and large. It sort of falls under the 12 step approach to life where they say "Fake It ‘Til You Make It." Or something like that. (I’ve never been able to drink more than two drinks without getting a massive migraine so I can’t be an alcoholic and go to meetings.)
So what’s so wrong in my life? Bottom line, nothing. Nothing that time, effort, bucking up and Grace won’t heal. (Grace is my friend.) And really, nothing worse than what goes on in anybody’s life now and then. So you see, it’s not so bad. And because I didn’t feel like writing a cheerful or interesting post here, I did the drudge work of life and whined quietly to myself. I got the taxes done (two businesses, two houses and a rental property), caught up on all my office billing, and started work on that friggin’ FAFSA. The FAFSA, incidentally, for those of you who don’t have almost grown children and aren’t yet intimately acquainted with it, is one very good reason to NOT have children. I think if every prospective parent had to tangle with a FAFSA first, we wouldn’t have to argue over other methods of birth control. And it was a very busy week in the office because it was the peak week of the year for SAD.
And then after all that productive effort I felt a little better but still not up to posting here, so I wrote a four page letter to the Bud and Jan Show, shipped off a package to Iraq and knit a sweater for the first child. I’ll try to get him to let me photograph it, minus his anonymous head, because it is quite stunning. I used a dark tweedy plum, navy, brown Mountain Colors merino wool and it has raglan sleeves. Very nice if I do say so myself.
I noticed this morning that two giant Amaryllis carried over from last year are about to open as well as one of my favorite orchids. The pets are all well and as usual, they were quite solicitous during a low time so I told them I would write a little tribute to pets in the next day or two. And today is a lovely sunny day, albeit bitter cold (12 degrees) and we’re headed out to Wit’s End to check the furnace and feeders and do a swan update.
Posts and pictures coming up!