Have you seen those silly commercials where the pathetic single women ask each other what they had for dinner last night? One says, " a box of brownie mix" and another says, "fourteen Twinkies" and the third gloats that she had some heart smart healthy frozen dinner of shitake mushrooms, sauteed tenderloin bites and asparagus tips. I always have two thoughts: "Why can’t you women find a grocery store with real food?" and "I’ll take the brownie mix, thanks."
Rich is gone and I am FED up with turkey and mashed potatoes so tonight’s dinner is a chop salad of tomatoes, blue cheese, roasted pine nuts and hard boiled egg and then some homemade Chex mix. It’s what was on hand.
In my family it’s a tradition to make a giant (the turkey roasting) pan full of homemade Chex mix. My father always made it, as follows:
Equal parts corn, rice and wheat chex.
And then the SAME amount of fancy mixed nuts and Mr. Salty extra thin pretzel stix. The nuts have to be high quality including giant cashews, almonds and pecans, NO PEANUTS. I use a whole bag of each, raw, from Whole
Paycheck Foods. The pretzels have to be Mr. Salty THIN stix. A whole bag.
1/2 # butter (yes, that’s right). Ample amounts of garlic salt, onion salt, Worcestershire sauce and just a hint of cayenne pepper. You melt the butter and seasonings and then toss in the other stuff and then your roaster is full to overflowing. You bake the mix at 300 for a good 45-60 minutes, tossing it often. Since the roaster is so full it falls all over the oven and floor. Cool and pack into large ziplock bags. You get four or five full bags. Lasts all season.
Here’s something besides turkey I’m fed up with: credit cards. These are a necessary evil but just barely. Somewhere back in my heritage was the philosophy that the only thing you could buy on credit was your home and your farm. Since I don’t have a farm, that leaves the house and the other place in Florida. It doesn’t change the fact that credit cards are convenient, especially if you’re shopping challenged and you travel. That’s me.
I had four cards. One is attached to my bank accounts and is used for day-to-day groceries and things that get subtracted directly from my checking account. One is attached to a bankrupt airline that shall remain nameless. That is used for travel and household purchases and gets paid off each month by auto pay from the checking account. Then I have one card with each child’s name primary that also has my name on it. They don’t have the cards; I cut theirs up without even telling them they have them. I use those cards to do things like pay for saxophone reeds and college tuition and those get paid off each month, too, while building credit in their names. The party line with them is NO CREDIT CARDS so they just use bank cards for their accounts.
Recently I started using a credit card that had been sitting dormant for almost a decade. I never closed that account because it had a HUGE credit limit on it and I figured if any one ever got kidnapped and I needed ransom money I’d have it. It has a pretty alumni M in blue and maize on it. I started using it because I’m going to fade out the bankrupt airline card since I don’t fly that airline now that I’ve relocated and also they always charge me an annual fee, which, as we all know, is ridiculous.
So, is that all clear? Well, it was to me until the credit card companies started selling their cards to each other. Now I am completely confused about whether I have an MBNA card, an American Express card, a US Bank card or a Bank of America card. It’s like musical cards. I keep getting more cards with notes that say, "this card replaces your old card ending in 1234. Cut up that card and use this card." Each new card has a new online account address and requires a new sign in identity and a new password. I am quite serious when I say this brain is good for exactly two identities and two passwords- and at that, there are 7 too many combinations.
This is why it’s a good idea to live in a cash and barter economy. Just my opinion.
Regarding public figures who keep misbehaving and then announce they’re going to get therapy: I’m trying to figure out how long a person would "go into treatment" to stop being rude and insensitive and self-indulgent. Or, being a perv. I’m also wondering how much money a therapist could make coming up with variations on "You acted like a pig. You need to cut that out." Personally, I used to have trouble convincing some managed care employee do-be that it would take more than 3 sessions to cure out right psychosis. Celebs and politicians must have better insurance. Anyway, no Seinfeld for you.
For everybody who didn’t want to read today: I don’t blame you. Here’s a picture.