Now I remember!

Let’s see, where was I? Oh, right! I had just been out to the garden, looking for crocus in the snow and then my mother died. I sort of retreated into a dark, quiet place. Then the computer did, too. I was recovering from pneumonia. Both children were transitioning from the end of another year of college and getting re-organized for the next phase- and not without a lot of fussing, some regression, car repairs and lost mail. Rich has been considering which way to go for the last decade or so of his career and that will inevitably involve a move so I looked in the closets and the garage and basement storage room, thought about the mausoleum storage locker that still holds the remnants of Rich’s life before us and then I sat down and retreated again.

Where was I? Yes, I remember! Back on the first of March I was down here in Florida observing that the Coopers Hawks were courting for the fifth straight year. This time, they were moving, too, but just across the street: apparently they were under insured during the last hurricane season and their nest was beyond repair. I promised to keep you posted…

How did I miss an entire nesting season? They are, indeed, a happy family and Hannibal (the father) is again turning the streets into something out of CSI: it’s littered with wings and bones and well, there’s a lot of carnage high up in that tree these days as the youngsters (3) demand upwards of 37 small birds plus mice and lizards each and every day. This morning he raided a blue jay nest and if you think you’ve heard pissed off before, it was nothing compared to this. Yikes! Ah, Mother Nature…

Which brings us up to today. And 26 years ago, today. Where was I? Oh, yes! At this precise moment I was about to find my mother nature. Spread, taped and draped after 36 hours of hard labor. I was president of Lamaze at the time and quite determined to have my first born as Mother Nature intended. No epidural, no nothing. But when the doctor himself- not the hapless medical student who was ready to drop out after a night in the pending room with me, not the labor and delivery nurse, not the intern or resident but the main man- stood at the side of my bed and said, in his soft Southern drawl, “Vaacki, y’all are four centimeters now and y’all will be four centimeters a month from now. Ah have another plan.” I conceded. And the eagerly anticipated petite baby girl popped through severed muscles as a 10 pound beautiful boy and I thought, “What will I ever do with this boy?”

What indeed? If you’ve been here a while, you know some about this child, my first, my “special only.” You know that he holds a corner of my heart untouched by any other, you know that his heart is vulnerable, you know that he is humble and shy, gifted and emotionally phlegmatic. He has been, as often as not, a labor of love as hard as those first 36 hours and he has never been less of a gift, or less of a blessing than he was in those first few minutes when I wondered, “What will I do with this boy?”

I am certain, beyond a doubt, that he has often wondered, “What do I do with this mother?” We rub and chafe and laugh and love. Much of the time it is not easy or carefree for either of us. That just makes it richer, better and more of a lesson to be learned.

If you’ve been here before you know that I write about my daughter with abandon but my son doesn’t cotton to it so much. Today I am in Florida and he is on a 20 city tour and I miss him so much that I’m sneaking under the wire with this post.

This is how unassuming and modest he is: he never told me that a picture of the band he plays with is in 4 major music magazines this month. He never told me that the LP/CD release last week would be reviewed widely, with great praise. His sister showed it to me; she found it when she was looking through the music periodicals at Barnes and Noble. That’s him on the phone. See those dimples? What’s not to love? Happy Birthday to us. (You can read/hear here:


26 responses to “Now I remember!

  1. Well thank goodness, you finally broke the taboo and gave us good ol’ Dan. He’s a real peach, undoubtedly wowing the troops in the cities and having to throw too many girls back into the audience.

    (P.S. It is nice of you to post once again. Did you know that you age just as slow when you post as when you don’t?)

  2. What a Mother’s Day present your son was/is. 🙂 Thanks for sharing the story and the pic. He’s a cutie for sure! I listened to the tracks on the site with my son. (His fave is #3, but I like them all.) Happy Mother’s Day, Vicki!

  3. Wow, the things I didn’t know. I’ll have to check it out at B&N.

    Happy Mother’s Day, Vicki.

  4. What a handsome young man–and what parent/child relationship isn’t fraught at times? We love them, they love us, so why can’t it be SIMPLE? Congrats to the talented musicians, and nice to see you back.

  5. I have missed you, darling. Happy birthday to your boy. Who is incredibly cute, by the way.

  6. Vicki, thanks so much. I was thinking about sending them in to that mommy blogging thing and now I can’t find it.

    Maybe it’s not meant to be. I decided at the last minute to lay it all out (or most of it – there’s always more to a story).

  7. He’s adorable! Happy birthday to you both.

    Glad you’re back, V.

  8. Vicki, he’s so handsome!! But why shouldn’t he be, since his Mom is pretty cute too. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day. It surely was a treat to see that you had a new post.

  9. I have MISSED you.
    Rhett has MISSED Sophie.
    That is one handsome guy you have there. Maybe he won’t be too overwhelmed by all the attention. He is your firstborn, and there is that special place in your heart that belongs to him and him alone. What a lucky guy he is to have you for his mom. And what a lucky mom you are to have him as your son.
    I am soooooo impressed that you made it to 4 cm dilated. I couldn’t manage to get to 2 cm. And a 10 pounder, no wonder. My brother was 10lb 8oz and two weeks early so you see why my grandmother crocheted two of everything… she was sure he was twins.
    I hope you have a restful day tomorrow, filled with love, peace and soothing memories.

  10. What a gift you’ve given us today, Vicki! Sharing your son’s birth story is the best Mother’s Day surprise. The kids and the grandkids will have a fun day planned for me tomorrow, and I’ll enjoy it more having read your post, and reminisced a little myself.

  11. This fascinating post was well worth the wait! Maybe Dan was waiting until Mother’s Day to surprise you! Take joy, Vicki, and congratulations on your #1 son’s accomplishments!!

  12. Vicki– he’s beautiful, and obviously creative. What a fantastic mother’s day present, to see that photo of him. Here’s a little surprise, your son and I share a birthday. All those born on May 13th are humble and shy and vulnerable. I love knowing we have this lovely thing in common. Happy Mother’s Day, Vicki.

    (I am the blogger former known as rexroth’s daughter.)

  13. Welcome back. Happy Mother’s Day and a happy birthday to your talented son.

  14. Aaaah sons!
    Can’t live with ’em.
    Can’t live without ’em

  15. How cool is THAT??? You think he likes older women 😉

  16. What a wonderful post! Happy birthday to your handsome Dan, and Happy Mother’s Day to you, Vicki!

  17. This is so nice! I’d love to hear more about Dan in the future. What an exciting time for all of you.

  18. Awwww Happy Birthday Dan 🙂 He is an amazing musician, so I’m not surprised that his band is doing well 🙂

    Happy belated mother’s day to you too Vicki 🙂 hopefully we get together when you are back in town.

  19. Oh Sister, where art thou?!

  20. On Bonnie’s heels, to mention how much I adore you.

  21. i got a mother’s day present like that 20 years ago! big ben came into world with just the right amount of fanfare, and rarely been anything but a delight ever since. they’re fascinating to watch grow up, aren’t they?

  22. The girl is winging her way to Hawaii. I am green with envy and because I ate too much at the old folks annual picnic by the bay. I like camping but am past the “no shower available” and “bring toilet paper” stage, so maybe I’m not that green, perhaps “mint” with envy would be a better description. She is threatening to bring back coconut bras. I hope her better sense kicks in.

    Have been missing you this week.

  23. What a wonderful post. I’ve stopped by many times, but I’ve never commented. Our children are wonderful, aren’t they…keep us young, or wear us out. What a cutie! Thanks for all your posts.

  24. Ooh very cute! And around my age too 😛 Looks like John Mayer a bit too who I love. Wish him all the best. I’m sure with a great mom like you he will be successful at whatever he persues!

  25. Is that Dan’s old firetruck in the bottom left corner? Why is the bald guy holding that hose so lovingly? Seattle alternative types will love the fellow on the left because we can’t get enough flannel here. Is Dan talking with an important agent or a certain cellist? What sort of object is the cool cat in the shades holding? Does the typist sitting second from the left have a blog? Because, if he does, perhaps he could guest blog for you?

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