Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Okay, from here on in everything’s gonna get better. Because today is the worst. It’s the pits. This is the day when foul weather, debt, fading holiday memories, failed resolutions and a lack of motivation conspire to leave us the most depressed. A researcher in the UK has determined the precise formula:

1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA. Where:

W: Weather
D: Debt
d: Money due in January pay
T: Time since Christmas
Q: Time since failed quit attempt
M: General motivational levels
NA: The need to take action

I’m not a mathematician so you’ll have to plug in your own factors. (And I’m very depressed because no matter how much I study to retake the GREs after achieving a perfectly respectable score 30 years ago, I can’t get above a 7 on the math section now. Now watch, Bonnie will post a comment saying yoga can fix this.)

Here in Michigan we have cold and gray, a dead furnace at Wit’s End, and one of the Starter People managed to get her car totaled by merely parking it on the street and going in her apartment to watch TV. The guy who hit it is (altogether now!): Uninsured! And yes, we only had liability on it because the Starter People cost way too much to insure, even driving old clunkers. Small claims court is in our future and I’m SO conflict avoidant. I probably wouldn’t consider a suit if he were as young as our kids but he’s old enough, at 35, to know better. And how, by the way, did he manage to total his car and a parked car while talking on his cell phone and not get a citation?

We don’t believe in debt but if one more appliance breaks that could be revised.

Money due in January pay? For me- uh- very little. Everybody has a new deductible on their health insurance and I’m such a social worker I have trouble going after that first uninsured part they owe. (There’s an insurance theme developing here. I think the formula needs a variable for insurance woes.)

Which "failed quit" attempt? At what? I did successfully wean myself off Cheez Waffies but I have failed at my attempts to turn 23 pounds of alpaca fleece into wool. And now it’s the time of year to start knitting cotton sweaters.
Getting fit? Still trying. You too? Try this link at fatfighterblogs. They’re just getting started today with a gentle, set-your-own-pace 10 minute week plan. Contrary Mary– are you still running a little program at your place?

My general motivational level has an inverse relationship with how much corduroy I’m wearing. Today I have on two heavy pieces. Also, any day that requires more than flip-flops puts a damper on my urge to do things.

The Need To Take Action. I always thought NA meant not applicable, which is what I always check on every form.

Anyway, it can only get better from here. Besides, do you really trust the news media to know how you’re feeling? As a general rule, that’s a bad idea. In this case, specifically, I discovered a major problem with the BBC report. Read the first paragraph and see if you can find it.

Sterling is such a cheerful looking guy (because he has 11 ladies in waiting) that my picture of him made people happy. So here’s another. Cheer up!Sterling

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18 responses to “Goodbye, Blue Monday!

  1. Did you miss the BBC line where it said “Staying in bed could be the best option”?

    P.S. That picture is NOT a bird, in case you didn’t notice. What happened to all the bird pix?

    Yoga conquers all. (Beat Bonnie to it.)

  2. Well, the first BIG problem that the BBC has is they have no clue as to what day it is. It is not the 24th. I know this for two reasons. January 24th is my brother’s birthday. And January 24th is the California Gold Rush on QVC and there is no gold being sold on QVC. When I was working, the 24th was a favorite day (along with August 17th, the Klondike Gold Rush). I would tape it and quickly look through at lunch and after work. This was the day to get Christmas presents for next year. One can never have too much gold jewelry, it isn’t possible. So there you have it.

    The car wreck, in Florida? Oh, dear. I have coughed up the money for full insurance on Nyssa, as I fear lawsuits for many reasons and she is not the best judge of where mailboxes are at the side of the road. It has been over four years now since the last mailbox incident so maybe she has outgrown it. Thank goodness Nyssa made it her policy not to talk on the cell phone when driving. It should be illegal.

    Just put on some booming music. Hibernate. It should take more than one day to realign the body from the warmth of Florida to snow in Michigan. Got to take Mom to the last week of her rehab. She is practicing going without her cane! Haven’t seen her without one for years.

  3. Hoss- they also suggest reading a book on depression. I’m not convinced that’s a good plan. Bird pix tomorrow!
    Roxanne_ this time it wasn’t Abby; it was stepdaughter, Melissa. Who was busy minding her own business and is in no way culpable. Except that she’s one of the Starter People. And you’re right on the date. ;-). Go, mom!

  4. You’re scaring me a little bit here, Vicki. Aren’t you in the business of cheering people up, kinda? So if they’re depressed for the reasons you mention, and I certainly can understand and empathize, you show them a picture of a giraffe and tell them to cheer up?

    Mmmmmm, I don’t know if that would work for me. Starter people. I like that term. Good luck with small claims court. I don’t trust our justice system. But I don’t like car insurance either. They’re two of the biggest rackets around.

  5. mondays are pits of quicksand, sometimes you navigate around them and sometimes you just sink. throwing you a rope in hopes that you’ll be out tomorrow!

  6. mondays are pits of quicksand, sometimes you navigate around them and sometimes you just sink. throwing you a rope in hopes that you’ll be out tomorrow!

  7. Vicki's sister, Betsy

    Well, BBC is recycling last year’s article. Still fun, but even in the UK it’s not the 24th today! I like the comments from folks responding to that article — scarcely any are depressed. A stoic bunch of Brits.

  8. Oh this is funny (or maybe only to me): the first error that popped into my head was that, obviously, the BBC haven’t been keeping up with their T.S. Eliot.

    April is the cruellest month, breeding/Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing/Memory and desire, stirring/Dull roots with spring rain.

    I need to get my head out of the clouds. I do hope that February becomes much better for you! Maybe some 80’s music would cheer you up? Sterling is doing a great job for him–he’s a handsome fellow.

  9. Forget the BBC lets get back to that terrible bra thing in the post below. Now that right there is news we can all use! Sheesh.
    Have a great day!
    Lois Lane

  10. “We don’t believe in debt” – Is it really that simple? If I dont believe in it, will it go away? Kind of reminds me of Peter Pan.

  11. “We don’t believe in debt” – Is it really that simple? If I dont believe in it, will it go away? Kind of reminds me of Peter Pan.

  12. This is probably not a good time to tell you that down here in southern Indiana, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, what few clouds there are, are white and puffy and most assuredly have angels lounging on the other side, and it’s in the mid-fifties.

    If it makes anyone feel better, the cat went berserk and peed on the pile of dirty socks in the laundry room.

    I dug the wires out of my bras years ago. Yes, my bras are old and gross, kind of like me.

    I also take the shoulder pads out of all my clothes. Heaven knows I carry enough padding of my own.

    Debt? If you look it up in the dictionary, you will see my picture illustrating it. Sigh.

  13. My formula refutes the above blue monday formula.

    Don’t Worry, Be Happy formula

    1/8CC + M/(GGP)x FW

    Where:
    CC = chocolate cake
    GGP = goofy giraffe photo
    M = milk
    FW = Florida Weather

  14. If we Seattlites get any more cheerful we might burst and cause a tsunami in the Puget Sound! Sunbreaks are frequent, celebratory lattes are flowing, salmon are flying, and flannel is flapping as we embrace a nirvana that would have cheered up even Kurt Cobain: SEAHAWKS ARE GOING TO DETROIT ROCK, er, HAWK CITY! (Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s SuperBowl tickets.)

    Yoga most certainly WILL improve focus and memory, lift depression, bring calm and gratitude, and increase brain power. Inversions WILL bring fresh, oxygenated blood to the brain. Turn that frown upside-down with Pranayama deep-breathing (clear and cleanse your body and mind), flow through Ustrasana (open your heart) and Shirshasana (stand on your head), and end in Savasana (rest like a baby). Namaste!

    Q. What do you call a polygamist giraffe?
    A. You don’t call him. You just bat your eyelashes until he’s weak in the Gonatopus boivinii.

  15. Can we just get rid of MOndays or sleep through them? I am so tired that I can barely see straight. Hope the rest of the week goes better for you!By the way, we sat by a large gymnastics team from Michigan at our Las Vegas meet–wish I could remember where they were from. They were very nice!

  16. Can we just get rid of MOndays or sleep through them? I am so tired that I can barely see straight. Hope the rest of the week goes better for you!By the way, we sat by a large gymnastics team from Michigan at our Las Vegas meet–wish I could remember where they were from. They were very nice!

  17. Mamacita is in some of the dictionaries under debt – and I am in the rest of them! So sorry about the wreck, the appliances, the weather and the doldrums. I didn’t have a wreck, but I had to put a new battery in my car today. UGH.

    Vicki, the Frappr link is in a box under the pig. If you can’t see it, maybe you should scroll down to the bottom of the page – it sometimes moves down there for some odd reason. If it isn’t there, I don’t know what is the matter.

  18. Well, you made us laugh so that counts for something.

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