The heat is off

Frankly, I’m relieved. I didn’t get  into the finals of BoB as Ms. Crochet (I don’t crochet, but that was my only hope). I didn’t get Mommy Blog nomination either- probably because I call my child The Snarl. And it’s safe to say I didn’t want to be anywhere near The Best Fertility Blog. I do think Genuine is so focused on diapers he can’t even conceive (well, he does that regularly), make that consider the possibility of Best Menopause Blog. Huh. I posted that swell post-Thanksgiving diet of Munchos and Cosmopolitans but did that appeal to Mango or Papaya or whoever he is? No. I did not get Best Food Blog. Podcast? I don’t think so. Every time I put up an audioblog, my site stops loading.

Every single day I make a conscious effort to refrain from posting about my joyous sex life and molasses. Those days I don’t put up a post? I’m engaged in orgiastic sex. But I was brought up not to broadcast that stuff plus I don’t want you all jealous- so Best Sex Blog? No.

Two major issues, I believe, are these: I don’t know ANY of those people over at BoB except Genuine and as many times as I’ve visited him, praised his fatherly efforts, told him his chocolate-covered baby is cute, dropped him a weather report- do you see his comments here? No. Over 3800 comments here on 400 plus posts in the past 10 months. No. So that may be one thing, that I don’t know them and they don’t know me.

The other issue is no one can load my page. This is probably more to the crux of the matter. Even I can’t load my page. It’s so clogged up with blurry photos and weird audioblogs (I did think Adventure Dog, soothing music for glass-eating dogs, was one of my finer moments…) that only the strong of heart with hours to spare can even get here. (Thank you. Really.)

That, actually, was the only reason I wanted to get into BoB. I wanted someone to make me a new web design. I wanted a real host. A page that would load. I wanted to know what RSS stands for. Ah, well.

I will say this about Best of Blogs:  Raehan, Lucinda, Grace– all excellent choices. I’ll be voting, and now that I’m here in Florida again, I can vote as often as I want (but it may not count). I know that Raehan, for one, is in a better position since Belle on Her Toes went back to her real life because otherwise she would have been up for Sexiest, Most Inspiring, Best HomeSchooling, Mommy Blog. The last thing I’ll say is they missed the boat with Hoss. I checked out the ten finalists in Most Humorous and while they are, indeed funny, the humor is almost entirely caustic and sarcastic. And, as we all know, sarcasm is the refuge of shallow minds. Hoss is consistently, through thick and thin I might add, hilarilously funny, good natured, smart and most of all, a good neighbor.

So, anyway, I’m relieved and the heat is off. That means I can post one of those dreaded memes. I usually try to pretend I haven’t been tagged but since I’m in Florida and FC tagged me on this one and since four is the Snarl’s lucky number, here goes.

FOUR JOBS YOU’VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE

1- When I was 16 and weighed 103#, I worked as a Playground Leader for the City of Detroit in the heart of the inner city. I would show up every day at this miserable dirt lot with 2 medicine balls and a giant lug wrench to open the fire hydrant. There would be about 40 little children sitting in their underpants along the curb watching me grunt and strain to get that sucker open and they all cheered when the water finally cut loose. And Hoss, I got to put up orange cones to block traffic.
2- When I was 17 I went to work in a small receiving hospital on the East side of Detroit taking electrocardiograms in the Emergency Room. After my first month this guy died on me. A while later I went back into the cubicle to look at him- they were waiting for some family to show up- and I thought I would make his dead self more comfortable by putting a pillow under his head. Hours later no family had showed up yet but a doctor walked by, noticed the pillow and roared out in rage. Seems rigor had set in and by then the guy was bent upright. Sigh. I worked nights as an ECG technician in Ann Arbor all the way through college.
3- When I was 24, I had completed graduate school and I was a full blown, licensed psychotherapist. I went to work doing post-graduate work for NIMH (remember those mice?) in infant mental health, studying the development of blind infants and failure to thrive babies. I continue to be a child and family therapist to this day, many moons later.
4- I am a mother. This is the BoJs. It is the hardest, easiest, most fun, most frustrating, most edifying job on earth, at least for me.

And on that note, I’m going to lunch by the bay with my baby. She’s between classes, so I have to run and I’ll finish up with this post, post haste, later today.

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18 responses to “The heat is off

  1. Did any of those cones have a Myanmar Shave ad?

    I think next year I am going to ask Genuine to let me be a judge. And then everybody on my b**groll will make the top 10 in something. And all of Genuine’s pals will be dropped out of sight.

    You will win the title of Best Person to B**g.

  2. Hmmmm, maybe I’ll be eligible for best peri-menopausal blog?

    I LOVE that you put a pillow under a dead guy’s head. Crying with laughter here.

  3. Orgiastic sex, huh? Sounds good to me. (Notice how I immediately honed in on the least appropriate part of your post.) As for the BoB awards-I think you defy categorization. You’re number 1 in my book.

  4. Many of my favorites got passed over, especially you. it makes me sad and lonely.

    At lest you don’t have to worry about being last. It’s kind of strange not wnting to campaign for votes and at the same time, not wnting to look silly.

  5. Pillow under the dead guy’s head — I don’t get why it was such a big deal. Doesn’t rigor mortis wear off after a while?? I seem to recall this from some coroner documentary I watched on the Discovery Channel or some such thing.

    And yes, your site still does have loading problems sometimes. Is there a way that you can set it to display no more than five posts on the first page? What about sizing photos smaller, and giving readers the option of clicking on them to see the full size? That would help speed things up. I love your blog but it’s the slowest one on your list. (I keep coming back, though, so that should tell you something.) ;^)

    Hope you had a great lunch with your lovely daughter!

  6. You have my undying love and dedication, Vicki!

    Do these fertility bloggers know about your molasses cookies, by the way?

    Regarding the meme: You continue to amaze me with your interesting life and the way you charge into every new adventure with such an open heart!

    I have no trouble with your loading time. Of course, I enjoy the anticipation and the knowledge that good things come to those who wait…

  7. Is Abby back in class already? Nyssa goes back to W&M on Monday, maybe Tuesday morning. Classes start Wednesday. I guess I’ve never been to where BoB is or any such thing. Who are these people?
    BTW a couple of little birds found the feeder today. I thought Clover was going to fall all over herself to try and get to the window.
    Enjoy your time in Florida!

  8. Is Abby back in class already? Nyssa goes back to W&M on Monday, maybe Tuesday morning. Classes start Wednesday. I guess I’ve never been to where BoB is or any such thing. Who are these people?
    BTW a couple of little birds found the feeder today. I thought Clover was going to fall all over herself to try and get to the window.
    Enjoy your time in Florida!

  9. I got stuck at orgiastic sex too – but mainly because I enjoy the word orgiastic. Really. Swear.

  10. Your page loads up just fine for me! I hate all this blogging politics dreck. I refuse to participate. I have my blog friends, and my forum; that’s what’s important to me. Besides, what do you WIN if you get a Bob Award? A BMW? A new house? A trip around the world? Have fun in Florida;it’s rained for 25 straight days here, going for the record of 33.(kind of depressing-I may need therapy!)

  11. They are missing the boat by not choosing both you and Hoss, Vicki. It’s their loss. We who love you will nominate you again and again, if that’s what it takes.

  12. I know I like it here. And I’ve found great reading from your side list.

    Have you worked out the in-state tuition thing yet?

  13. I know I like it here. And I’ve found great reading from your side list.

    Have you worked out the in-state tuition thing yet?

  14. Hey, thanks, Vicki. I agree, they left out some bloggers and I can’t figure out why… Hoss and Susie Sunshine and you, of course are the three that leave me scratching my head!

    Anyway, the good news is, you can vote every day! Although I have no idea how long the voting lasts… Raehan and I are praying it ends soon.

  15. A joyous sex life in the same sentence with molasses sounds like something I don’t want to think too hard about. I must be missing a post somewhere.

  16. I apologize to all of you.

  17. G- what for? You do great work on BoB and deserve a huge amount of credit and recognition. Thank you for your effort and time and good humor. I wouldn’t want to have to choose from all of the incredibly creative blogs out there and I appreciate that you narrow it down and simultaneously introduce me to fine new writing.

  18. Yours is the ONLY blog I read regularly and because I like it so much I usually have to wait a few weeks before visiting so that I can have a lot to read. I may browse a blog here and there but yours is the one that keeps me coming back. As for slow loads – yes, this is agonizingly slow on dial-up, but there is a work around for the reader: let the page load a bit then hit the stop loading button. The text will be there to read and meanwhile one can open a new window in which to load the whole page while one is reading. Of course that’s only good if one has a lot of catching up to do!

    Beth gave some good suggestions. You can also make the pictures into smaller files without making them look smaller. They won’t be as nice but they will be nice enough. It means an extra step though, and sometimes it is frustrating. Your photo editor/browser should be able to ‘optimize the pics for the web’. In mine the option is under “save as”. I must rename, choose the file type, and choose the compression rate – ‘excellent quality’ being the most data and ‘excellent compression’ being the least data, hence the smallest. As far as I can tell though, that only brings it down to about 25% of the original file size… Hope I haven’t gotten too technical here….And, I think your pictures are beautiful.

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