If only I got better e-mail

You know, I could put up funny little posts that would make you chuckle, too, if only I got the kind of e-mail Judy does. She gets word puns and daffy definitions and great one-liners. Half of mine require a sex change operation to be useful.

The other half are "sensational offers" to reduce my current mortgage payment. But I’m studying to re-take the GRE (U-M isn’t willing to accept perfectly good scores from 30 years ago when I went to grad school the first time- yeesh!) so I’m not so easily fooled.

Basically, the offer is to take the remaining eight years of my current mortgage at 5% and extend it to 30 years at 7.6% and lower my monthly payments by 42.00. Unless I would like to add 200,000 in line of credit, for which I have been PRE-APPROVED! and then they can help me save on my taxes, too. I’m glad someone is looking out for me.

Vitorin isn’t and BCBS of Michigan isn’t, that’s for sure. We just had to flip to carrying our health insurance independently because Rich restructured his business from a something to a something (don’t confuse me) and so now we have no prescription coverage. Do you know HOW F-ING MUCH VITORIN COSTS?? It’s 3.00 a pill! (That’s why I was under the bed eating a dust bunny last night.)

Here’s the deal: I have perfectly swell good cholesterol. It’s so high it’s off the charts. I have so-so bad cholesterol- but it’s inching it’s way up over time. I have an enviable ratio (it’s 2.9 with a little asterisk saying, "this individual is at lower than average risk of coronary artery disease.") But still- I have to take this pill everyday for the rest of my life. Everyone on my father’s side died before 66 years, of coronary artery disease. I used to wish it was just bad living- all that farm diet chock full of milk, butter, cheese, beef, combined with life long smoking habits- and that by doing better it wouldn’t be an issue for me. But it is. I have high triglycerides and a diagnosis of familial hyperlipidemia* and my internist of 25 years says yes,yes,yes, you must stay on top of this. My brother and sister have it, too. Exercise, weight, diet, not smoking- not enough. Zocor and Lipitor are cheaper plus you can get 3 months of those at a time but I take Vitorin, the one where your fat Aunt Martha gave you the problem, thanks very much. You can only get Vitorin 30 at a time- it’s probably one of those designer street drugs and I just haven’t figured out how to abuse it yet.

Anyway, I don’t like taking pills. It makes me feel old. I also have to take Synthroid because I had my thyroid whacked out along with a tumor a number of years ago but that doesn’t bother me as much. Half the world is on Synthroid and it’s cheap and frankly, it doesn’t seem to matter a heck of a lot whether I take it or not in terms of energy or weight level. I’m always lacking slightly in one and have just a smidge too much of the other and I figure that’s life.

So, as I was under the bed eating a dust bunny and thinking, "that’s odd. I usually don’t have this much trouble swallowing my Vitorin" I was also thinking, "Heaven help all those folks who are trying to figure out the Medicare drug plans. Or, who missed the boat and the deadline before they figured it out." What a disaster. I was trying to help Bud make sense of it and finally, when my vocabulary was reduced to his, I gave up.

Anyway, all of this is by way of saying, as soon as I get some funny e-mail I’ll pass it along. Meanwhile I’m working on one of those darn memes (Happy New Year’s, Meeta! I’ll get to it as soon as I finish the one Spook tagged me for in August!). This one is in lists of seven and my memory and imagination is limited to 2 of anything, so it’s going to be tough. Also, I almost finished my story about my patient from many years ago. And Michelle wants to know about my C-section without anesthesia. Think of the material! And, to think, I just wrote this whole long post about nothing. Huh.

*I just ran spell check. Spell check would prefer that we have "familial harelipped." I’ll stick with the lipid problem, thank you.

10 responses to “If only I got better e-mail

  1. Bikram yoga for the thyroid and high blood pressure!! There’s a studio on Washtenaw –
    http://www.bikramyogaannarbor.com. Gah! I had to type Ann Arbor!! There is nothing I wouldn’t do in order to share the yoga love with you, dear Vicki! Check out the health benefits at http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/beginnersguide/yogabenefits.asp.

    So, if I write funnier emails you’ll reply to them? Must I resort to dirty cello jokes?!


  2. Yoga will help high blood pressure. I don’t think it will get the hyperlipidemia. Triglycerides too? And I thought they no longer made Synthroid and used Levoxyl or levothyroxine instead. I need to do a little research for you and e-mail.

    Bless you for trying to figure out the PDP for Bud and Jan. This has been occupying my time for a month. We finally used the plan finder at the Medicare site to help with determining which one was best at the time. Dad’s are all Level one and cheap so he has one plan. Mom’s are more expensive Level 2 and one 3 so we have a different one for her. Now we are trying to get the actual plan number for the pharmacies and get the prescriptions written for generics when possible and for Mom getting hers written for 90 day supply so we can use the plan’s mail order pharmacy. Hopefully we can get her Tricor changed from 145 mg to 100 mg. Then instead of $2 a pill I can get it from Canada for $.59 a pill. It will be less expensive than what she would pay with the medicare plan.

    This change has really caused havoc with the doctors too. One of Mom’s has been working for a month to establish a list of acceptable alternative medications for all his patients should their current ones not be on the formulary of the plan they picked.

    Even with all this mess, it will in the end save my parents around $3000 or more this year. Dad never had any prescription drug coverage, just a little discount from the local pharmacy. Mom had a GAP plan with drug coverage but I looked at it and it was essentially worthless.

    OK now I have a headache. Going to try this headache cream Nyssa got me for an early birthday treat…oops. Not telling.

  3. Here I am. I am here! Yeah! So, one of my colitis pills normally would cost me $85 a bottle. Thanks to my plan, I pay $25. I dont know why everything has to be sooooooooo expensive. I have high bad cholesteral, as you know, and it is of no fault of my own either. I was SHOCKED when they said it was high. Meanwhile, the fat guy in the main office who eats hotdogs and buttered rolls everyday probably has no problems at all. Two rules of life. #1, things are always expensive. #2, nothing is ever fair.

  4. I can sympathize with your drug dependency there. I take five prescriptions, one for cholesterol (which has always been good and I have no real history of heart disease in my family). It’s no coincidence, I figure, that there are often as many drug reps as there are patients in my doctor’s waiting room. So I’m going herbal: tea brewed from mandarin orange peels. I saw on the internet that it’s a miracle type cure for what ails ya.

    Hmmmmm, I see our buddy is back and blogging, huh. Should we worry?

  5. My doc took me off Lipitor, saying I will be dead of lung disease long before I die of artery clog. What a swell guy!!

  6. We are trying to figure out the Medicare drug program too, and it is slow going and a lot like playing craps in Vegas. I don’t take medication except for Lasix and potassium, mr. kenju takes nothing – and trying to figure out which plan might be good if we ever do have to take meds is like trying to read a crystal ball with a layer of mud on it.

    Thanks for the link, Vicki, but anyone who clicks it will have to scroll down to see the jokes, as I have added a link to send Randal McCloy an ecard.

  7. I…take extra tylenol when I have cramps.

    Do dust bunnies aid in pill swallowing, usually?

  8. Extra *strength* tylenol is, of course, what I meant. I am a stickler for reading over dose warnings and such, especially after a recent article about liver problems associated with acetaminophen.

  9. lol. i would love to go out and get food 🙂 Perhaps after the 15th when I get paid again. gotta love the once a month payments, it makes me have one of those budget thingies….gah!

    You don’t have to do the meme if you don’t want to. 🙂 I just was feeling particularly evil so I tagged you.

  10. Hee. I’ve heard Bonnie’s dirty cello joke before. Shocking, really! I also want to hear about the cesarean with no anesthesia. I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

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