This is what happened on the plane coming home. We got bumped up to First Class- that was nice. But we didn’t sit together- Rich was in 1D and I was in 4B. A nice, quiet (just how I like my seat mates) woman in her 30s was sitting next to me in the window seat. They gave us an unusually good antipasto plate, small salad and brownie plus drinks and then took the plates and there was an hour and a half of peaceful flying. My seat mate fell asleep, turned toward the window, slightly sideways in her seat. In other words, her butt and right thigh were tipped up in my direction.
I was trying to knit and I’d gotten to a complicated part where the sleeves get separated from the main body of the sweater. As we flew North the sun was streaking in the windows by her head and since it was first class there’s about two windows for every seat. The glare from the one right behind her head was intolerable so I quietly and carefully unbuckled, raised up and leaned over to gently lower the shade without disturbing her. When I sat back down I was horrified to see that I had tipped over a glass full of ice, water and a slice of lemon on that little console between us with my hip and the water was seeping down between the console and her backside. Worse yet, there were about 8 good sized chunks of ice and a slice of lemon lodged between her butt and the side of the seat.
I mopped up the console top with those worthless little drink napkins and then tried to get some of what was running down but then the napkin started to shred into wet boogers. I was trying really hard not to wake her up but I had some growing anxiety that it was only a matter of time before the ice melted through her black slacks. As delicately as I could (i.e., I was looking really sneaky and perverted) I tried to extract the ice chips. I got about half of them and then I noticed the guy across the aisle watching me poke around this woman’s fanny and gave up on the whole thing by signaling the flight attendant and giving her the soggy shredded napkin and empty glass without explanation. Unfortunately, the lemon slice was hopelessly wedged down in there.
When the pilot made the landing announcement she woke up, shifted around and sat squarely on her seat- and the lemon. I politely let her step out to get her bag while we were waiting for the jetway to open and as she walked out in front of me that lemon was stuck smack on her backside like a tick on a dog. I noticed it was still there when I saw her ahead of us on the moving walkway to baggage claim. Oh, well. What can you do?