When you are ambivalent about something you have two different conflicting feelings about one object or issue.
E.G.: Oh, wow, man, that is the Juicy Couture pale pink chiffon mini skirt of my dreams! If only it didn’t cost 487.56!
One solution to ambivalence is to get a friend, enemy, partner or colleague to take on half of your ambivalence. Then you can- to use a psychological term- externalize the conflict.
EG: “Hey! 487.56 is a steal! You can open a new credit card, get 15% off, and pay it over three years. Besides, you’ll look like dynamite in that skirt!”
At which point you realize that you really hate the skirt and don’t want it nor do you need it. In this sort of situation, be careful not to take along a Lutheran friend who will chide you about indecency, extravagance and God’s will. You’ll end up with the skirt.
Okay, now that I have explained ambivalence to you the way I do to my clients, let me say that October is Annual Ambivalence Month here at OutsideIn. I am always in conflict throughout the month of October.
On the one hand: October marks the beginning of hibernation season. Here in the Midwest it is essential to put on fat stores for the winter. It lasts a long time. Winter that is. I guess the fat stores do also. And even though, throughout the winter, you won’t actually be asleep and burning off fat stores but rather hunkered under the down comforter watching TV and getting up at 20 minute intervals for more fat- still, it’s a long cold winter. When you dress like a bear anyway. October marks the transition to “white foods.” While I am perfectly happy with tomatoes and greens and melon and peaches all summer long beginning in October I must turn to potatoes, rice, pasta, cream, popcorn and butter- which would be white if they didn’t add the yellow. Lots of butter. A good meal is scalloped potatoes with ham. Made with cream and butter. Or maybe fettuccine Alfredo. And then, of course, the bread machine comes out in October…
On the other hand: I’ve mentioned that Rich works in the Sports and Leisure Intelligence industry. He does research (he has a PhD in psychology and communication) on how and why people engage in leisure and sports activities. This means he has information that is relevant to both public health and sports marketing. Every October he gives the keynote address at a sponsor’s meeting for the Xterra World Championship Triathlon. On Maui. This is a week when the resort is filled with about 400 triathletes who come from all over the world to swim the ocean, bike the volcano and run the island. It’s also host to sponsor-related people: K2 Bikes, Nissan Xterra, Paul Mitchell, Saucony shoes. Chic, fit, tan, athletic beautiful people. Also, coincidentally, it coincides with my birthday- that all important day when I remember that I’m not getting any younger. This year I will be half-way between 50 and 60. That means the only people I know who are older than me are Hoss, my parents and another blog friend who is a florist but I won’t embarrass her by naming her here.
Are you starting to understand the nature of my ambivalence? Yes, indeedy. It’s this simple: Do I eat or not eat? (read the fine print on the label on the cookware. Those Taiwanese get what I’m talking about.)
I have a new bathing suit I bought while shopping with Abby in Florida. She was wonderfully enthusiastic about how great it looks. She reminded me of how much I like to snorkel. I’ve scheduled the dreaded annual bikini wax for after work today. I leave in 6 days for Hawaii. To be truly happy I need to lose a pound a day between now and then. I have 2 yoga classes, 4 pilates classes and the treadmill working for me.
And yet. You, my friends, came flooding back after I wrote no posts, no comments for a week and I was so grateful to you- what could I do? I had to cook you a lovely Fall dinner. Tomorrow’s post will be menu, recipes and pictures…it involves a lot of cheese