Coming and Going

The work week has been a good structure to keep the weekend from looming too large but today I can’t put off facing the two chapters that are ending.

This afternoon and tomorrow will be with Abby (yes, Ms. Turtle Dreams has a name…). We’re doing last minute shopping for linens and lamps and making lists and copies of numbers: bank accounts, student ID, driver’s license, birth certificate, passport and social security, doctors and dentists. As though she’s moving to Africa, not Florida. I’m insisting on a pointless physical; she’s perfectly healthy. At this moment she is putting the final touches on her narration of the Inland Seas movie she’s been working on. All needs to be finished by Monday.

Sunday we will have a wake for Ed, here in the house where I live with my husband. The entire community of friends lives elsewhere, except me, and we realized that everyone always convened at Ed’s house, especially during football season. It wasn’t as much about football as it was the ritual and routine of getting together. Ed’s was the place to be on Saturdays. The marching band would wind up about 6 AM at the end of the block; parking cars, drinking beer and shootin’ the breeze would commence at noon. We would all sit on the porch and crowd watch, then some would go to the game and some watch it on TV at Ed’s with the Goodyear blimp circling overhead. Afterwards the partying would start all over again.

Having it here, as odd as it is, brings home to me the best gift that Ed gave me. When I couldn’t stay with him he behaved in a way that allowed us to heal and let me fall in love, get married and build a life with Rich. And still remain friends. Now I am so fortunate to have a husband who is secure enough in our love to allow me to celebrate that friendship.

Just how lucky and sad can one person be? I’m finding out.
SRP poses an interesting question at Melange and it fits in with Mary’s discussion about different reactions to different children when they leave. Later today I’ll post a bit about how I felt when my son left and I’d love to hear Bonnie’s take on this, since she has already said goodbye to four children.
Faithful Ping who comes to help us out around the house a few hours a week asked softly a few days ago, "You friend die?" I said yes. And then she said, "Abby leave." I said yes. Then she said, "Ohhh…" in this quiet way she does before she turns away to mull things over and fold laundry. Last night I was out for a couple hours and when I came home there was a note on the kitchen counter that read, "refrigerator. Ping." In the garage refrigerator there are well over 200 dumplings and dim sum. No, she’s not available to come to your house.

21 responses to “Coming and Going

  1. that was so sweet of Ping! I would say let’s go get dinner/lunch this weekend, but I will definitely call you when I get back from DC. I can act like a bad penny, although it won’t be the same as T.D. or Saxophone man 🙂

  2. It’s good to get the dreaded physical. Most universities require one before admission. They also require the Neisseria meningitidis—meningococcal meningitis vaccination along with the Hepatitis B vaccination as of last year at Sewanee and W&M. Usually they send the health forms in the packet with the admissions stuff. Babies get the Hepatitis now but our girls didn’t. Nyssa had hers several years ago. Some also require a PPD, test for tuberculosis.

    Nyssa is getting her hair done right now. Her room is still a wreck but less so. I just loaded my van. As usual I forgot to put in the cushy desk chair until I had it loaded. This really should go in first. Save’s a big headache. Just a couple of boxes to go through and some clothes to sort out and a bit of mending to do. We are off squirrely early tomorrow. Dorm opens at 8 AM and we need to get it all in and fairly settled by 11 AM as she has a meeting at 11:15 AM. I could use a dad for her right now.

  3. I must remember to keep a hanky at the ready when reading your touching web log. It pains me more than a little to relish a post so much which includes a Wolverine football game, but what’s a mother to do?

    And, oh, the blessing that is Ping!

    My take on goodbye
    Is not meant to be wry.
    I cannot lie:
    Why, God, why?!

  4. My goodness! So much going on there at once. Here’s to wishing you the best of strength during these difficult times. You have a very nice writing style. Thank you for visiting my cyber home yesterday. 🙂
    Lois Lane

  5. I’m sitting here shaking my head in amusement at the synchronicity that is all around us. There are no coincidences after all. I’m listening to Joni Mitchell and, you guessed it, of all her wonderful tunes, I’m listening to circle game. None of mine are yet to be old enough to be leaving the nest just yet though in four short years our oldest will be eligible. Having no experience, I would have to say that at somepoint you just have to trust that you showed them the “right” path and that, though they may wander, they will eventually find their way in the world. Some will struggle and others will soar only to come crashing down only to rise again – such is life, at least any life worth living. Strength, happiness, security, and peace to you lady. On the otherside of sorrow is joy, it has always been this way.


  6. Sorry for the pain you are experiencing now, Vicki. I once had a cat named Ping, but he sure didn’t cook. She is a national treasure, I suspect. You are lucky to have her (and I also suspect she is lucky to have you!).

  7. Ping is a lovely person. And so are you. We packed Emma last night. Tonight her friends will be here. Tomorrow we go to the airport. She seems excited and happy, which is making this easier. I’m glad so many others are going through this at the same time. Therapy group was a good idea.

  8. Yes, Melange posts interesting thought. Boys DO leave home, too. And parents usually shed no tears over it. Heh.

  9. How does one find a Ping?

  10. I still have goosebumps. Wow.

  11. I forgot to say, re Ed: Rich is my hero, again.

  12. Ed is my hero. I’m waitin’ for him to ping 😉

  13. Amazingly, I just posted about going college supplies shopping with our older girl and how poignant it was.I think Ashley and I are closer now than we ever have been, so it makes it harder for me to let her go. I know you understand.

  14. What a nice Ping. She is very thoughtful. I wish I had a Ping. Will you serve the dumplings on Sunday? I feel so badly for you that Abby is off. It must be horribly hard, like kicking the baby bird out of the nest. Only you’re not kicking, your kinda holding on to a little rope that you is attached to her ankle as she jumps out. Sorta like that, but your grip is not too tight. You know what I mean.

  15. As always, beautiful writing, Vicki.

    And yeah, the ends of your posts are finally back for me. I’m not sure what that was about.

    Thinking of you through all this intensity.

  16. There’s nothing better than a great friend or family member…it’s the best to find them both in the same person;0) Peace to you and yours in this weekend of beginnings and endings.

  17. There’s nothing better than a great friend or family member…it’s the best to find them both in the same person;0) Peace to you and yours in this weekend of beginnings and endings.

  18. Beautiful post.

    Yes, you are so lucky.

    The sadness is connected to this fact. Joy and sadness are partners sometimes. You can’t mourn what you don’t cherish.

  19. In the brief time I met Rich I have to say I was incredibly impressed with him. You have an incredibly wonderful husband and he has an amazingly big hearted wife.

  20. Can you please let me know you are okay?

  21. On Jen’s heels, me too! Me too! xoxo….

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