Lost in Translation- Again

A friend, indeed, who works for a large airline has been busy pimping for DVDs at work. These are to send to Bill and the 322nd Civil Affairs Brigade in Iraq. One of her flight attendant friends, Trixie, stepped right up.

Trixie’s previous claim to fame was that her ex-husband tried to poison her gradually over a two year period with arsenic. He succeeded in the trial run on the neighbor’s dog but Trixie had so many flights away that her blood level of the stuff never quite tipped over to fatal. She did end up in the hospital, got out and dropped him like a bad habit. Now she says she’ll never marry again.

Anyway, Trixie had a flight to China last week and managed to snag an armload of videos for me to send off to Iraq. The packaging is conspicuously Chinese, as are the plot summaries on the back. For example, can you name this film?

"The westle a suddenly and violently middle age women of temper, maintain negative attitude to bad oversexed thirst beg always. Though she is that is handsome Fertile boon of husband still energetic but she has already refused to burn the intense emotion of that year any further. The combat of the end launched astoundingly in the Harvard road." Sound like Cronemudgeons  to me.

How about this one:

"King’s Edward’s ages of, the playwright benefit virtuous to have results to show, can his new play echo again however after presenting to public not good? Go to the willing to hot a park take a walk meeting him with the woman, disguising as the "off the trail fantasy island boy" to four little boys. Turn to are innocent to have no the contact of evil children with these. The benefit openly to think the front door of the elephant dint."

That one is Finding Neverland; the first is A Dirty Shame with Tracey Ullman, who apparently has become less selective about her movie roles. Anyway, don’t you wish you could write like that? Think of the exponential growth in blog readership. I need to find a way to use "elephant dint" in a story soon.

But, the good news is, all of these DVDs have far more soldier appeal than my one copy of Winged Migration, so I’m excited. Care to add anything to the box of goodwill and support? Drop me a line and I’ll send you my snail mail address. The deadline for mailing these off to Bill’s APO is July 10 so if you have some, send ’em now.

And, Trixie- thanks so much from all of us.Dvds

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11 responses to “Lost in Translation- Again

  1. Not to burst your bubble, but my friend picked up some inexpensive DVD’s in China ($1-$2) and then found out why they were so cheap: somebody had taped them by setting up a video camera in a movie theatre.

    I also have a Robin Hood DVD that Barnes&Noble included in a X-mas shipment by mistake. I never sent it back, so I thought I’d give it to the soldiers to avoid feeling guilty about not returning it.

  2. That Trixie is indeed a nice one.

    Vick: “…to have no the contact…” sounds like an anti-spam message to me. I will vote for this film.

  3. Carolyn- I’m trying to be in denial about these being suspect in quality. Trixie assures me these came from the “reputable” DVD cart pusher in the back alley. Ping, our occasional housekeeper, is from China and she claims the only problem is the Japanese make all the DVD players and they hate the Chinese so Chinese DVDs won’t play on Japanese players. I asked if it was true in reverse and she said: Yes. China no like Japan. We not want to play.” Guess that sums up the political situation in that part of the world.

    Hoss- who did you think was writing your spam?

  4. Oh! My favorite use of English – decorative translations from Asian languages!

    Excellent example of cronemudgeon. Yes! We shall be using the c-word on a mass basis in the very near future! Violent middle age women of temper unite!

  5. Vicki: Hoss and you always crack me up! 🙂

  6. I have three as of right now. They have all been donated by coworkers. They are Cheaper By The Dozen (Steve Martin), Deliver Us From Eva (LL Cool J), and Last Days Of Patton (George C Scott). I am going to Pathmark this afternoon to see if they have some on sale.

  7. Tell me that Trixie’s husband is serving hard time for attempted murder and dropping him like a bad habit was just icing on the cake.

  8. “Cheaper by the Dozen” is one of my favorites, too.

  9. Ok. I see you got DVDs. How are you doing on the music aspect?

  10. Elephant dint…or did it? We may never know. ;^)

  11. Yeah, i’m still gaping about Trixie over here. My god.

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