I went to bed just plain tapped out, both in terms of work and in terms of writing this blog and thinking-Oh! Three months! Honeymoon’s over! Now what else can I do with my life? Go back to studying the dreaded math section to re-take, 30 years later, the GREs? I had nothing, blog-wise. As some folks would say, for extra emphasis, N.O.T.H.I.N.G. (loved that post.)
Last thing yesterday I called FG to wish him Happy Anniversary but he was in the middle of some work activity that required him to ride on A. Busch’s boat over to a bar called The Horny Toad on Lake of the Ozarks where the company he consults to was having a product sponsored bash. His job has a lot of requirements like that and going to the Super Bowl and Indy 500, etc. It’s hard but somebody has to do it. Anyway, standing in the middle of a noisy bar with colleagues wasn’t conducive to romance so we cut it short and I watched the Pistons win and fell asleep.
Sophie got me up and down all night. My grandmother used to say that cats are always on the wrong side of the door. This is true in spades in the summer and since Sophie is a member of the Flying Wallendas come back to learn it right she spends most of these nights on the rooftop snagging my bedroom screens. Five o’clock was the last time and I went back to bed cursing and muttering that NOW I would never get back to sleep before I had to get up and start work.
But I did. I had two hours of that restless dream sleep where you just dream and dream and dream. You will be glad to know that in those two hours I solved all your problems.
The dream started with me getting all snugly and what not with FG which was pure wish. But then I noticed that TD had been fussing around in our room and in the process she had gotten red nail polish all over the carpet in little clumps of five and ten where she had been doing her toes. And she had left glasses of pop overturned and school papers spread out all over, now wet and polish spotted. I was so cranked that I lost the mood with FG and jumped out of bed to chase her down and yell at her. She was saying, "okay, okay, I’m leaving" and trying to scoot out of the house quick with a friend. This all very accurately describes her less attractive attributes in real life- messy, disorganized and highly distractible and then you can’t pin her down long enough to sort these things out. In the dream I actually shut her in her room and said she could just stay there until she had all her books, clothes, and diving gear organized, room cleaned, life in order. Oddly, she said okay and I put the door back on it’s hinges (I have no idea why it was off unless that was a dream pun about being un-hinged) and went downstairs feeling surprised and satisfied. There! Fixed the kid.
Then I made several phone calls that I had been putting off. One was to wish my sister and her husband a very happy anniversary which I had been putting off because I forgot the date- so it had come and gone. This is not the way to win sisters and influence family ties and the last thing I read before going to bed was her good wish comment on my post yesterday. So- Happy Anniversary, Betsy and Andy! Sorry I’m late but I have been thinking of you and just couldn’t remember the exact date in May. They also are two years married and May and June of that year got sort of blurry for me. Also in the dream I asked her to send pictures of her rose garden. Then I called Jen over at Jenorama and told her the solution to her spam problem. Jen: it occurred to me in my dream that you mentioned going out to engage in a certain entertainment that involves 52 little cardboard rectangles in two of your posts and had spam problems after each of those posts. I would stop talking about that in your posts because it’s triggering your spam. How do I know? According to my dream, that’s what you need to do.
And THEN: I was at the lake visiting with friends and family. While there I arranged the mother of all interventions. Last night I read Joy Unexpected and discovered her readers were in a cat fight of monolith proportions and I left there thinking, oh, dear, another reason not to blog. In my dream about 5 women- none of them known to me but all looking a lot like the characters of Desperate Housewives- sat Y down and gave her a good and loving talking-to and then took her shopping for a whole new wardrobe, gave her spa treatments and fed her all these lovely healthy Latino foods (I know that’s sort of an oxymoron but it was a dream and hey, if I want to make chicharrones healthy in my dream, I will.) Other ladies played with her beautiful daughter and everyone was so HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. Solved that problem.
Then I was lounging on a lovely chaise out on a dock talking with my favorite and only brother and I told him what he needed to do to get his computer back on line. You should have heard what I knew about routers and Linksys and firewalls. You should also know that in my waking life I don’t know what a firewall is. So we took care of that and I said I was looking forward to seeing him again on e-mail but it was so nice to actually spend time with him here on the lake and visiting the Bud and Jan Show at the same time. There- that takes care of his computer issues and also the dilemma of getting up to see the folks and still seeing each other this summer.
Finally, I was just dozing in the sun and I heard the back-up beep, beep of the garbage truck in the distance. I startled and the whole lawn chair with me in it fell into the icy waters of Lake Superior. My brother said, "Hey! Isn’t it cold in there? Are there any fish swimming around the dock?" and just as I was about to say I was going to die of hypothermia Ms. TD came swimming up, happy as a sea turtle, and said, "no, once you get used to it, it’s fine." And it was. And I swam with her for a while until I heard the garbage truck again and woke up.
Whew. Of course, I missed getting the garbage out. And the damn cat
was hanging on the screen again. And now I have about 3 minutes before I get
to work solving problems. I may not have time to visit you today so you can just say thank you below.