A Little Homework

I knew if I tagged  Bonnie  with a music meme I would end up with both pleasure and homework (in the same way I knew if I tagged Hoss I’d get cartoon music). I’m only familiar with three of Bonnie’s choices; I love the Strauss and Mozart (Bonnie knows I’m a sucker for opera) and the Schubert piece is a definite favorite. The other two I haven’t heard and apparently neither has iTunes (no surprise) so I’ll head over to Border’s on an old gift card. Jen gave me some new music, too; The Garden State soundtrack is a good one but I don’t have the David Byrne one so I’ll scrounge for that one. Thank you all very much for the fun and entertainment!

Here’s a little meme; I won’t tag anyone with it but I’d love to hear what goes on (or not) at your house so feel free to dump your thoughts on your post or in the comments below.

What five things will no one else but you do around the house?

(This comes to my mind more now because I was gone for a few days and those things became even more noticeable.)

1. Clean bad food or science projects run amok out of the refrigerator. They compound this negligence by opening the refrigerator numerous times each day and saying, "Ewwww. Yuuch! What is that?" and then closing the door again.

2. Unball socks. They clog up the floor of the bedrooms and baths like dirty white cow pies. If I don’t  do it they go into the washer and come out of the dryer in the same condition. This problem is compounded by the fact that the children are sock thieves. Which aggravates the Sam’s Club shopping problem.

3. Play Post Office. All mail- real mail (very scarce), flyers, bank statements, investment reports (does anyone read those 200 page fine print reports with all the FTC mandated information about their retirement funds let alone cast a vote for Herkimer Fienstein or Jolanda Johnson as a new member of the board? Like I should know this stuff…), bills, magazines, pizza coupons. It ALL ends up in a pile on my desk and this is true if it’s a day or a week or if I died. I never asked to be appointed post mistress.

4. Answer the phone. ANSWER THE FRIGGIN’ PHONE! We have a lovely message, recorded by FG, saying, "Hi! You’ve reached the home of Fishing Guy, Egg Tooth and Turtle Dream! Leave a message so we can call you back!" FG NEVER EVER EVER answers the phone. Not when I’m in the shower, not when I’m in the garden, not when I’m in a plane rolling around in the grass at Tampa Int’l Airport. He is very certain it is not for him. It cannot possibly be his brother, his brother, his brother, one of our four children, a business associate, a golfing buddy. It is not for him. The children, when here, get up, gaze at the caller ID and if it’s not for them they sit back down. That’s it. They sit down.

5. This is my favorite. No one but me throws out bouquets gone bad. I almost always have fresh  flowers in the house,usually from the garden. I can come home after a week and it can smell like some back tidewater swamp in the dining room with rotty blackened flower petals strewn across the oak dining table and a mold index of 4000 in here and no one will throw out the dead flowers. The reason I love this one most is because, way back when I was a Blogging for Books winner on the 12th of May, FG sent me the most beautiful flowers from the best florist in town- roses and freesia and tulips and hydrangea- with a card that said, "to my favorite author."  When we got back from our airport adventure at 3 AM this morning and everyone but me was asleep I looked first at the 2 foot mountain of mail on my desk and then followed the wretched stench to the dining room and saw those dead flowers- only to be reminded of how much I am loved and how much I am in love.

Tell me what five things no one does at your house but you.

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13 responses to “A Little Homework

  1. I think I fall under the same categories as FG and your kids…

    Can I do the things I never do?

    1) Take out the trash

    2) Dishes

    3) Feed the cats their wet food in the morning

    4) Fold clothes. I am great, however, at frantically wading through a basket full of clean ones.

    5) Feed the dogs their dry food in the morning (well, almost never).

  2. Yes, I’m afraid I’m more like your husband and kids, BUT not as bad as Jen. I shall name the things I sometimes do.

    1) Wash the dishes

    2) Feed the cat

    3) Iron my clothes

    4) Clean the kitchen (this usually ties in with no. 1 but…oh well)

    5) Answer the phone

  3. Ah, Vickster, this is so good, Hoss is almost at a loss for words. Almost.

    Words, words, words, words.

    Beautiful words in a great piece by Vicki. Vastly amused, am I.

  4. Don’t get me started. Everything you mentioned, and more. ; )

  5. In my own defense, and now that I am not pressed for time, I will tell you what I do that nobody else does:

    1) Clean the bathrooms

    2) Vacuum

    3) Dust

    4) Put little boys to bed

    5) Get up and get little boys ready for school, and drive them, and then go pick little boys up. Three. Little. Boys.

  6. I know, Jen, because I read the “kid chronicles” earlier today- thank you cards for the teacher, getting everybody ready for their last day and running, too. That is definitely something this no one is doing. Good work! 🙂

  7. Alright. Here’s my list:

    1 and 2. Plan and implement meals. (Note: The term “meals” represents an encounter with somewhat healthful food items, which did not originate in bright, artificial packages.)

    3. Shop for groceries. (See above.)

    4. Fill the empty toilet paper holder. (I swear that if I didn’t do this, every toilet would have rolls of toilet paper lying around in varying arms’ length distances – child arm distance to adult male arm distance.) Really, the toilet paper holder is not that difficult to figure out. Sheesh.

    5. Make and take patients to appointments. (This applies to all non-driving parties currently in residence at my home: three children, one dog, and one cat.)

  8. The task of saving the planet has fallen to me in our household. Hence, I’m the Recycling Facist. Should I see one sheet of white office paper, a plastic item, or – HORRORS – a soda can in the trash, the tirade is deployed:

    “HEY! Didn’t I tell you guys that #7 plastics are now recyclable! REMEMBER?”

    Then I line everybody up and have them recite the categories of recyclable plastics, e.g., PETE #1, HDPE #2.

    Thanks for bringing this up Vicki. I found a voice for my frustration. Send me a bill for your shrink fees.

  9. 1. Vacuum
    2. Water the plants
    3. Water the cats
    4. Weed. E-spouse is both against weeding and against Round-up. Sigh.
    5. Move folded clothes from laundry baskets into drawers. Actually, E-spouse does his own clothes. It was part of our pre-nup–you deal with your clothes, and I’ll deal with mine. I forgot to include future offspring, however.

  10. Things I do that nobody else does:

    1. Get the mail
    2. Pay the bills
    3. Take out the garbage
    4. Stock the larder
    5. Bitch that nobody else gets the mail, pays the bills, takes out the garbage, or stocks the larder.

  11. Things I do that nobody else does:
    1)Pay the bills
    2)Make appointments
    3)Feed and water the animals
    4)Clean the house, including the dishes and laundry
    5)Care what people think when they see my house

    Things that He does that I dont:
    1)Cook all the meals
    2)Empty the dishwasher
    3)Fix things I dont know how to fix
    4)Fix the breaks on the car
    5)Clean the goldfish pond filter

  12. Earl cooks all the meals? That explains the FABULOUS WHITE PIZZA HE MADE AT CHRISTMAS!

  13. 1) Pick up anything that has fallen to the floor. Anything. From a dirty sock, to a handful of dry cat food, to a potted plant knocked over by the cat. I fear someday I’ll come home from a climbing trip to one of those path-through-piles-of-rubbish-and-cat-poop houses.

    2) Turn on the bathroom fan before taking a shower. Doesn’t anyone care about black mold? Or about the $300 framed Monet print?

    3) Notice Petri-dish food from circa 1996 in the fridge or freezer. And eat it. Wastage…Bad….

    4) Clean the car interiors. Once found a dinner plate and piece of French toast (with butter and maple syrup) on the floor in the back seat of Audrey’s car.

    5) Exercise. And don’t give me that “housecleaning and meandering about the kitchen is just as good as exercising” crap!

    Reason I don’t file for divorce:

    meals. great meals. folded laundry. every other sunday (at least) off from church. hugs from kids after work. regular smiles and laughs and giggle fests that make complaining just not worth it.

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