Yesterday I was out in the garden, doing some pruning and mulching and fertilizing. Everything that grows out there was all happy and fine and looking forward to last night’s rain. I know this because I asked them, "say, how’s it going? What’s new? Expecting triplets! Congratulations!" the way I always do.
So I know the INVASION OF THE SUBSTANCE FROM HELL had not begun. This vile loveliness is all over, everywhere, on my 25 ft. Cedar which grows over the little garden where Dan plants impatiens for Mother’s Day every year. It’s orange. It’s gelatinous. Like I imagine enemy sea anemones to look (say that five times, fast.). It looks like something from the ocean or someplace deeper still.
This morning, in anticipation of Dan coming by for his birthday cash (the only gift worth getting when you’re a 25 year old starving artist; actually I also knit him a pair of funky socks, too) FG and I went and picked up two flats of impatiens for him to plant. It was still too cold on Mother’s Day. When we pulled back into the driveway THIS GLOP was hanging all over the tree. This happened in the blink of an eye.
Either A) I’ve been cursed by that lovely Sister on Revulsions; B) Moss Graffiti has sent over a nasty colonizing relative in revenge or C) Bob Saget put a hex on me. (see previous post)
Do YOU know what it is? If yes, you have an obligation to give me the antidote. Right now. Please.
Take a stiff drink and click to enlarge.