A Slow Day in the North Woods

Wish I could post some of these photos for you guys. There’s some comic book expression I can’t think of- oh, yeah- “alternate universe?” I’m living in an alternate universe. Whatever, this is one big oxymoronic experience. Example: the toilet versus the gold plated hotel towel heater.

(Bud is in the background telling me what I should type in this post. They are fascinated with the notion of blogging so last night I printed the whole thing in large type, complete with photos and they are delighted to be included. Unlike Dan. Also my mom has situated herself on the heated sunporch and is spotting for loons for me to photograph for your viewing pleasure. She has that macular degeneration thing but can see distances).

Back to the toilet. In the same way that I’m trying not to use foul language out of sheer laziness I try not to engage in potty humor, even though some of you (Chris, Buzz, Zero, you know who you are.) get off on it. But when the only plumbing available is a SunMar Excel composting toilet it quickly becomes the focus of your life. Some members of this family won’t even stay here because of this toilet, choosing the Laurium Manor Inn instead (nick-named the Lithium Manner Inn). I just get seriously constipated. This piece of plumbing is akin to having a doorless portajohn INSIDE your house- somehwat cleaner but there’s a limit to what you can do with a giant box filled with crap and peat moss even if the seat is okay. Also, as you will be able to see for yourself at some point, the seat is 4 feet off the ground. Enough.

A conversation snippet:

Jan (yelling): “Bud, you’re breaking my pills in half again.”
Bud (yelling): “What frozen ham?”

So if you took that on the surface you wouldn’t realize that Bud (Jan, too) knows more about politics, current events, the best literature, the environment, and Texas Hold’em than you, me, and all your smartest friends together- or that he is making a quiet and gentle effort to restrain my mother’s use of pain medication.

Jan, who is tethered 100% of the time to an oxygen machine, has ordered no fewer than 130 MORE perennials from Wayside and Dutch Gardens this year. I don’t know who she thinks is going to plant these all for her but personally I am glad it’s sunny and only 26 degrees here at Lost Loon Lodge this weekend. I’m off to make them lunch and then out to pick up a prescription and sneak past the only yarn store in the Keweenaw. Cheers!

4 responses to “A Slow Day in the North Woods

  1. Hold on — for the record — the family members who stay at the Laurium Manor Inn do so on occasion because 1) the only decent guest room in the house is occupied by the younger sister and family, or 2) we got married there (LMI) and it’s a whole lot easier to be romantic without Bud singing obscene ditties at the top of his lungs downstairs, or 3) they lived in the area for 18+ years and have a life and friends beyond the immediate cottage area. They are NOT afraid of the toilet, although they too prefer constipation. And, in part because they lived in the area for so long, they have stayed more nights in the cottage, with the weird toilet, than anyone else in the family. Okay?

    Liked your Bud and Jan snippet. Here’s my all-time favorite:

    Jan: Bu-ud, you’re getting crumbs all over my place mat!

    Bud: God damn it, Jan, I’m not even wearing a face mask!

    Have a lovely time in my favorite part of the world, and my love to the Bud and Jan Show.

    Betsy

  2. Ah! I wasn’t thinking of you- more reporting on the general attitude about the plumbing situation. I was only thinking of you when I wrote about the 130 perennials…:-P

  3. Yeah, I’m guessing we’ll be the lucky gardeners. It’s hard to mind when you know that ordering all those plants (most doomed to be eaten by deer with Mom and Bud alternately complaining and saying “aahhh, aren’t they cute?”) is a sign that she plans to stay around long enough to see what’s left of them bloom.

    You mentioned that they’re good at Texas Hold ’em. I think that’s because she cheats at that too. Plus Bud has loud and mostly naughty songs he likes to sing while playing cards that are so annoying that it’s tough to concentrate. I say take ’em for all they’ve got in the penny jar.

    I’m guessing you were at our friend Nancy’s wonderful yarn shop? Unlike you, I can’t do anything useful with yarn but I could stand in her shop and look at her magic yarn for hours. I’m glad you got out for a few moments of non-Loony Tune Lodge enjoyment. And glad you’re up there with them.

    Bets

  4. Bud is quietly breaking my heart.

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